Good To Be Alive

Doorbell rang at 7:45 this morning.  That unexpected interruption is always a little chilling.  Who needs me before business hours on a Thursday morning?  It was my mom, telling me she was parking in my driveway so the movers would have access to her garage so they could pack up all my brother's belongings.

We just stood there and looked at each other.  He's moving ten hours away.

I...don't know how I feel about that.  And my mom definitely doesn't know how she feels about that, which is odd, because the woman is a rock.

When we were kids, the three of us played together every day.  Here's to the sunny slopes, of long ago.

All of the sudden, the commerce gates have opened!  It's like I am discovering Amazon for the first time.  I have been updating my wishlist every night.  It is SO incredibly therapeutic just to browse and dream and wish.  *coff* my wish list it TOTALLY UPDATED *coff*

I've only ever looked for book, movies, or games on Amazon.  I know, right?  This week, I've discovered you can shop for jewlery.  OMG sparklies.  Dude.  Page after page after page of jade and mother-of-pearl baubles and things.  And where yesterday, while I was all hair pulling and jumping about fretting over some hard to shop for Christmas dearies, today?  Oh I am so all over that.

What do you all like from Amazon?  What perks, what features?  Link me to your wishlist and I just might buy something :-3

Nothing at all is wrong, but this Monday is just working my nerves!  The way I was running late for work (totally my fault), that my darling love was feeling bad (we've both been sick), that my dog piddled on the floor by my bad (I slapped his ass good for that one).  Just little things that amount to nothing THAT OMG GRUMPED ME OUT.

Well, then there is this:  times are really tight right now (nothing new there) and I am tired of scraping up and moving savings and robbing Peter to pay Paul for things like a hair cut or bags of Halloween candy.  So, my local news station promotes local businesses by offering 2 for 1 gift certificates- in the instant case, the 2 for 1 deal was for the local full service car wash/detail shop/ quick lube.  Normally a full service car wash and an oil change costs about $45.  They were selling oil change gift cards that included a free car wash, 2 for the price of 1 for $35.  So my and darling love can both take our rides in for maintenance and istead of paying $90, pay only $35.

Except, the online promotional would not accept my debit card (I have not updated my address information from when I moved), so I put it on a credit card (which I did not want to do because you can't get out of debt by using credit cards...)  I just checked my bank online...$35 was debited from my account.  So during the transaction, I get the declined message due to conflicting information.....then they went ahead and charged my card anyway.  And presumably my credit card.

The last time I went to Avon.com, they doubled charged my debit card due to their server malfunction.  The last time I went to zappos.com, I was also double charged due to a server glitch.  (And both of those instances were either gifts or I was trying to help a sista out).

I am making a good faith effort to save money AND help out family and friends and I keep getting doubled charged.  WTF.  I want to be responsible with my money, not just toss it out the window.  Stupid shit like this makes me grumpy.  *crosses arms and glares*

On the other hand, if 4 gift cards show up instead of two, well, that's just one more unexpected Christmas gift I can tuck away for someone.

ETA:  There is Sephiroth/Cloud smut on my flist.  Alas, I feel the rampaging tide of financial woe receding. Ahhhhhhhh.

I've got my wee puppeh and I've got some red wine and I am working on new halloweenverse......aaaaaaand I get lost in peripheral characters.  OMG aka, move on to describing Ewan's riding clothes.  Spfft.

Also, it was novel at first, but now when SEC teams play the Imperial March at games....it's just kinda...needless.  Especially when they play it AFTER their team just got pushed back and are lining up.  Play it during a punt return or otherwise when the team is marching down the field.

*sigh*  John Williams.  Wasted on a false start.  Alas.

Coffee and my papers, have my own conversations
Sidewalks and pigeons and my window reflection-

When I work for David, I smoke.

Dear old Jack just loaded me up with some work, and I went outside to smoke and it was gross.  Sunlight in the pinetrees and when I came back in a new file assignment sheet laying in my chair.

Wish I could work for that old man all the time, it's like working for grandpa.  Contentment at work is so nice.  I'm not going to feel guilty even though the back of my mind is ringing out that I should ax the angst and choose to be content all the time.  The back of my mind is right.

But right now, it's sunny.  I have good work to do.  I have a good boss to please, much to be thankful for.  Call it positive energy, call it what it is, a blessing from the Lord, sometimes it's good to just be a live human being free on the earth. 

I don't feel that way that often, grinding away in a lawfirm, but this is my chose profession, and yeah.  I have much to be thankful for.

^_^

Driving to work this morning (in the foggy cold HURRAY) and was quite randomly thinking about racism being alive and well in the South (I live in the deep South).  But my thoughts were trailing along the lines of while racism is thriving, I could think of dozens upon dozens of scenarios I had witnessed where, while race was present, it was much more a mutually accepted and understood difference.  I've seen a black man and a good ole boy have a nice chat in the Wal Mart parking lot while the black man's daughter asked to pet the good ole boy's huntin' dog in the back of his truck.  It was a kind moment between strangers brought on by the natural love for children (and dogs) that transcended race.  I've seen elderly (pre-civil rights generation) white folks invite black laborers into their homes for a cold coke just because its damn hot down here in August and Southern people love their tea time.  I've seen wealthy elitest lawyers (white) sit on the front porch of a trailer belonging to their black clients and help shell pecans while they sit and "visit".  And I was thinking, maybe while racism is alive and well, there is a greater sense of community in the South that waters down the ferocity of the hate.  Maybe?

And then I see this shit.  http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091016/ap_on_re_us/us_interracial_rebuff

First of all, I've been to Tangipahoa Parish and I can tell you that more of its citizens than not are of mixed and/or multiple ethnicities.  Second of all, according to LA law, I am in a interracial marriage (I'm not sure Mississippi law, where we were married is quite the same, but my darling husband is from LA) and if some shmoe tried to tell me that I could not marry my love because interracial marriages "don't last"  it would have been Sherman's March to the sea all over again.  I just cannot believe that shit.  Marriages don't last because people are selfish assholes, not because of race.  And I DARE SOMEONE TO LOOK TWICE AT MY LITTLE TINTED BABIES.   OMG.  I just effing dare someone to say my babies will have some kind of negative impact because I am one thing and my husband is something else.  You'll be able to see the mushroom cloud.  That's all I can say.

I've been spending MONTHS preparing for the biggest legal ass kicking of my career.  And OH how we out lawyered the opposition at every turn!  The Trial of the Century was at the end of this month.  Twas going to be a blood bath.

But it settled.

*deflates*

Now I'm all dressed up with no place to go.  And I am having trouble not thinking about trial strategy 24/7.  I have 300 other cases to work on, but they're all simple and of the "just fucking pay the guy" ilk.

How e're, there was a new chap of the most awesome of all awesome tent!fic waiting for me this morning.  I literally shoo'd my coworkers from my office under the guise that I had some important The Case Has Settled emails to send out.  And I had the fic pulled up before they had even cleared the room.

*Sigh*  now what?

Why should I tarry,
he asked with a tranquil eye.
In destinies sad or merry,
true men can but try.

Just a little snippet that keeps me sane and a means of procrastination while I burn away what is hopefully the last hour of my day.  There are at least two people on my wee flist who ought to know the quote origin.

I don't think there is anything that makes me more defensive than filling out applications for health insurance.  I just completed three.  (And yes, my job does provide coverage, but insurance companies are so wicked, our current coverage has just been terminated, so we all have to apply with other companies).

It raises my hackles enough that you have to describe in detail your height, weight, medical history down to a sneeze for the last 24 months...but they also ask ALL of that information about my spouse.  I don't cover my husband.  His job gives him insurance, my job gives me mine.  That doesn't matter though, the insurance companies want his vital statistics just cause. RAWR GIT AWAY FRUM MAH HUZBIN!

So on the one hand, my attitude is "I weigh 100 pounds and have never seen the inside of a hospital."  On the other hand, my job is all about truth AND my chosen field just happens to be insurance defense.  So I get why they are making with the inquisition. 

I met my applications somewhere in the middle.  Glossed over enough to appear absurdly healthy (which I actually am comparatively speaking), but the omissions, should they be questioned, can be defended as benign and/or erring on the side of caution in the face of an application that was overly broad, vague, and ambiguously worded.

In other news:  got a bad case of the grumps.  Some very minor things are afoot, that are quite trivial, but still making me growly.  And that in turn is making me want to write fic.  Mean, vulnerable, realistic, everyone has shit days fic, but I can't decide on a pairing.  And I actually have such a backlog of Sephiroth/Cloud, I am wondering if I should actually post it to a comm.

I wish Dexter was more slashable.  Or at least that he would hurry up and evolve into a personality, because it is impossible to eroticize Mr. Existentialism. (unless you're Wong Kar Wai).  Ohhhhhhh if only Dexter had been played by Takeshi Kaneshiro.  That would change everything.

Also, Doaks?  I'm trying to like you.  I really am.

Can everyone see me?  You ought to be able to, because I am now officially the fattest person in America.  Right now, I feel like if I lean a little bit, I can throw the hold world off its axis and bring on a new ice age.  It was one of those morning where I wore the suit I interviewed for this job in and OMG had to lay down to get the pants done, then the pearl necklace I was layering around my neck broke (costume jewelry, no big loss) but I had pearl beads on the floor, in the bed, in my bra, in my shoe.  And then I made myself late by standing in front of the mirror going "do all four buttons buttoned make me look fat?  If I button just two buttons it could be like a shabby chic thing.  No- it looks like I can't button all four buttons.  Unbuttoned not an option.  Top three buttons and maybe tear the bottom button off..."  Like anyone gives a flying damn how many vest buttons I go for!  But on the other hand, girls, YOU KNOW we look at shit like that.  Oh that's a cute outfit....wow- why'd she do her vest like that???

In other news, Citi Bank is raising their interest rates to 37%.  I think.  They sent out this little flyer saying that "in these challenging economic times" they would be adjusting their rates to the prime APR, which at the time was something like 12.99% *plus* 29.99%.  So I guess if you miss a payment, your defaulted interest rate goes up to death of a family member or something. 

So kids, how do y'all make it through the day?  Oh right- high volume gay porm trafficing. 

To anyone considering work in the private sector, be prepared to check your personality and contentment at the door.  And as part of your salary for same, be prepared for the instance in which your superiors will make decisions adverse to your well being and then hold a meeting with you or with all staff, impart those decisions to you, and then gloss over the fact that your happiness is important.  That they don't want this to just be an enviornment of misery and work, but that you should come in with a smile.  My dears, since you have sacrificed that which is yourself, do not roll your eyes, do not participate in office gossip and bitch sessions.  Simply inform your superiors that happiness clearly has nothing to do with it, so let's dispense with the buzz words and morale boosters.  Work is about making your boss money and you will feel better and gain their respect when you look them square in the face and tell them you know the score so all crap can be cut forthwith.  And if they want to make you happy, future employees?  Tell them to pay you and leave you alone. 

That is all there is to the private sector.  Happiness and satisfaction, you must pursue these away from your work environment.

Those of you not in the private sector-  you may avoid all of the above and you get better benefits.  Next to us you look happy and smart.

Why yes- I am on hour 12 of my work day and totally fucking off right now because if I have to type "individual defendants" one more damn time...

It occurs to me that every trial that Bill went on that I went with him, we won. Every trial that Jack has taken me on, we've won. Yesterday, Jack did not take me to trial (he took the boy who is IN LAWSCHOOL and had never been in a courthouse before). And he LOST.

*glances at fabulous cleavage*

*glances at law clerk*

Yeah. That's what I thought.

Me and the girls, providing titillating defense verdicts since 2001.

So- I broke my ankle Monday. At my office. um OUCH!. I've never broken a bone before and I had NO IDEA it would hurt like it does. Also? apparently when you break a bone, it sends your body into shock. I almost threw up and I did pass out. Then came to, and calmly emailed all my bosses, told them what happened and went back to my job until my mom could come get me to take me to the ER. (and, not to toot my own horn, but I was back in the office the next morning, gimping around on crutches).

So far this has cost me $200, because I *have* insurance, but my deductible is SO HIGH, I may as well not have insurance. I pay everything out of pocket anyway.

So. Not the best week ever. Broke ankle. Broke bank account. And it is hotter than 8 bitches on a bitch boat.

*holds bobo out for flist to give kissies*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE COOLEST PERSON I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mousektear turns 28 today!!!!!!!!!! =D

Happy Birthday my dear friend. I hope and pray that this year brings you all the good fortune and extra vacation time you deserve. I wish you the very very best life has to offer. I miss you so much it is unreal!

More birthday lovies will follow via U. S. Mail.

*hugs*

Reading yon flists on LJ and IJ.  Two flisters quit their shitty jobs, one flister is trying to quit her more than shitty job.  I?  Am daydreaming about quitting my really-not-that-bad-comparatively-speaking job.  I hear unemployment is at 9.5.  Also?  we're like a snatch hair away from war with China.  <i>China</i>.  North Korea we can take, but Uncle Beijing?  I have my doubts...and what's Japan's position?  Time to dust off the subjugation boots?   Tawain is manufacturing fireworks that spell out "Confucius say payback is a bitch" for the occupation parade.

But, collapse of the east aside, shitty job prospects in the U.S., yes?  And Canada too, maybe?  What say you flisters?  Do you to just get a job or quit the one you have?  What is your dream job?

I still want to be a baker.  And not in the since of extreme cakes or crap like that.  I just want to be your friendly local supplier of cookies and apple turnovers. 

And Red?  How are things going with you?  Email me when you get a chance!

I'm done. Tetsuya...I'm just *done*. AC Complete made me squee so hard I think KNOW I broke something. Oh Reno. Oh Kadaj. And Tseng. And even Denzel. I feel my disdain for his plot filler-ness slowing ebbing away. But Sephiroth? We are so in. a. fight. because I love how your dominance got completey fuck-face turbo charged and it was plain as DAY that you were cutting Cloud's pants off and ignoring vital organs I'm not mentioning Zack because I am *done* with you, Tetsuya Nomura.

On an unrelated note, I have more money in my checking account than I should. And it is ALL I CAN DO to not go buy sisser a blue ray player. Just so we can watch this on her millionty-two inch screen. Also, I thought she might like Ewan on Blue Ray. Because guh. The difference. It is astounding.

Now. I am going to go cry like a little girl with a skint knee over the post-credit scenes in AC Complete.

(snagged from snarky_kat )

Three...

... things I can't sleep without
1. A fan running in the background.
2. Utter darkness
3. air conditioning

... items always in my purse/backpack/pockets
1. iPod
2. sunglasses
3. Ravenclaw student ID

... foods I love to snack on
1. anything sweet
2. beer
3. if it is sweet, I want to have it

... fandoms currently owning my soul
1. Sephiroth and any canon he is attached to

and that's pretty much it for Soul Owning Fandoms.  To round out the list, I'll include
2.  Black Lagoon
3.  Cowboy Bebop
(Vampire Knight, Gantz, Crooked Fingers/Okkervil River, Takeshi Kaneshiro)

... people I talk to every single day
1. Mr. Akahoshi
2. izzardwizzard 
3. Rokuro Okajima-Wynn

... websites always always open in my brower
1. Yahoo
2. LJ
3. I'm verreh limited on webbernets.

... books I've recently read
1. American Gods, Neil Gaiman
2. Black Swan Green, David Mitchell
3. Complete Collection of Carnacki the Ghostfinder (re-read this every year)

... TV shows I miss
1. Eureka
2. Farscape (before it got stupid)
3. Ghosthunters

Tagging anyone who wants to do this.

First the IRS wants to pick a fight with me over my 2007 tax return (thankfully it is over a small amount of money and they are cleary hell and gone from being right)

Second- my promotion at work?  I think is going to boil down to me working more and getting paid the same.  And trial that I MUST ATTEND (dun dun dun) starts two days before my anniversary.

But this case has over 75,000 documents, has already been to the supreme court and we have $10 million in exposure.  And I just got thrown into the deep end.

Stress much?

• We don't want certain ppl who have been pulled from the deployment roster to be deployed.
• We don't want Fun Boss to go on disability and/or retire (at the ripe age of 36).
• We don't want  trouble on Thursday with certain asshat professors.
• We don't want certain security clearances denied.
• We don't want debts and waistlines to keep expanding.

A lot of good people have a lot hanging in the balance and I so desperately DO WANT the positive results for all of you.  Prayers are good.  I'm praying for all of you, and if you do get deployed, too sick to work, turned down for that job, turned down for that job, hassled on Thursday, move into your new apartment and it turn out to be haunted, you can all come move in with me.  *smishes list into little loved bits*